Leadership: Deception / Candour
Recently, I read an article online about how leaders can effectively use deception to get employees to succeed, on how sometimes telling a lie that they are very good can be an effective strategy to elicit good performance from them. A friend and me got to discussing this and he happened to say, “Even armies are coached to deceive their enemies so what is wrong to use it if I can get things done?”
This got me thinking… and here are a few thoughts on that theme…
Staying in the context of leaders in an organization being deceptive to employees or managers being deceptive to their team members for better performance, and not venturing into aspects of getting one’s way or having a subterfuge personal agenda or war etc. .. purely keeping this application in mind:
I believe that the word deception can be replaced with either motivation or perception. Instead of really intending to mean deception, one can look at it as choosing to positively motivate by looking at what can be rather than feel pulled down by what cannot be n in helping people see the plus side.
Deception therefore, can be construed as misleading, as overall the point seems to be as an essence – if you can make people believe they can do well, then they will! – and that what we believe is what we achieve – now this, we have been agreeing from eons..
Deception as a strategy, does not help long term in forming allies… or bonding relationships. It helps when you are on opposite sides or it helps when it is a one timer. Otherwise integrity always is the more successful long term option especially when it is leadership.
For example, for a while, going in line with the article, a fantastic example (I do not know of the truth of this example, just that it is quoted in many a places so using it here) of using deception positively: there is this very popular story of how Napoleon got his very disheartened n defeated soldiers to fight back by tossing a coin and saying that if it falls heads then they are destined to win n if tails then to lose – saying which he tossed the coin, it came up heads and the soldiers, motivated beyond themselves, fight and win! Later when his commander calls it luck that the coin flipped heads, Napoleon is said to have smiled and showed him that it was a double headed coin, there was no chance for a tails at all.
Now correlate this powerful example to today’s organizations. Four major differences
1. today’ organizations are flat in hierarchy and nowhere like an army; today’ leaders cannot get away with making such an independent decision
2. the possibility of information staying outside of a grapevine is less likely, thus the probability of more pepole getting to know about the double headed coin is high
3. anyone can walk up and demand information (unless it is strictly confidential) or ask questions to even the leader, thus having the leader to sometimes even answer for and validate his/her strategies sometimes
All the above 3 ways where today’s organizations work differently from the situatuon that Napoleon faced.
Now this deception still would work one time and maybe a second time but what would happen if by chance someone realized that it really wasn’t the truth, that it was deception? That may break the bonds of trust and demotivate even further, leading to disastrous results. Better way is to go the Kung fu Panda way – that the secret ingredient is yourself – and create and nurture that belief in people that they can achieve a lot more if only they believed to be able to do so.
I mentioned 4 differences in Napoleon’ and current organization’ situation. The 4th is that there it was a crisis and he said what need to be said. One may argue, today also that, maybe in crisis, leaders can choose to create that deception. Maybe true that sometimes in crisis, leaders have to withhold information and make that choice. But one thing that leaders today can do that Napoleon couldn’t/wouldn’t is that post facto crisis they can sit the team down, tell the facts, and explain to them why it was essential to do what they did and how the strategy to make them believe worked for the best thus causing them to increase their belief in themselves…
All in all, it is the bonds of trust, the transperancy on communication and the positive integrity of the leader that ultimately works long term, both in organizations as well as in relationships.
Trust and Trustworthiness
Trust! A word we hear so often in various scenarios in life. From couples in love to friends at any time, between family members to a husband and wife, there is always a need for people to be able to trust the other person or people that they constantly associate. Trust is said to be immensely difficult to build and takes time while it can be shattered ever so easily. In fact, trust is known to be one of the finest attribute that can make or break any relationship or any friendship.
What then is the place of such a personal and emotional concept in an organization? Where does an attribute that builds bonding and affection between individuals on a very personal level – where does that come into perspective in a professional scenario? Trust as a concept is highly sought after and talked about and intended to be implemented in any place where teams exist in an organization or one needs to work with other teams or individuals.
In fact trust is imperative in almost any working scenario where there is an interaction between two people. Do we know that the other person is telling the truth? Do we know whether we have all information or any is left pending? Are we sure that the other person is competent and skilled in what they are doing? Whilst we are following, can we believe that the leader has our best interests in mind? When we are leading, can we rely on the team to rally forth behind us wherever we go? These are the kind of questions, the kind of scenarios, where trust, single handed can make the difference between a yes and a no.
But wait a minute, you would ask! Aren’t the answers to all the above questions supposed to be yes anyway? Don’t we just need to trust each other no matter what, because we are a team? What choice do we have anyway but to have to work together and learn to grow that level of trust? It may take a little time but I know that I need to trust the other team members or the others in the organization. It is because of these thoughts that many of us miss out on one of the simple and fundamental aspects of trust building. Yes, agreed that we have to trust the other person, it is a given – but having said that, we fail to ask the other question – what is the other person doing to make us want to trust him / her???
Let us now turn this situation and question around and ask ourselves from the other perspective. Yes, agreed that our team members, peers, superiors ad subordinates have to trust us, it is a given – but having said that, we fail to ask the other question – what is it that I am doing from my side to ensure that I am trustworthy???
As one thinks of the above question, there arises another very relevant question – what is trust composed of? How does one build trust? Yes, one needs to be reliable, consistent, and dependable and honest, but what really are the major components or ingredients of a trustworthy individual? One way to look at this is the following equation:
Trust = Reputation X Behavior
Let us understand these 2 words independently first and then look at how the correlation tends to enhance or reduce trust.
Reputation: Reputation is many a time combined with other words such as image or character, etc ad most often than not, is used to talk about the beliefs or opinions that we generally lay out about anything or any person. For the same of our understanding for being trustworthy, one’s reputation comes from not only just people’s beliefs about that person but also based on a certain track record of the person. For example someone with a qualification or experience in an area is reputed to be a subject matter expert in that area. Reputation is the image that an individual holds at work – from knowledge and competency levels, to their experience, to how they look at situations to how others have seen them perform one’s competency or reputation helps one to be more trustworthy. So, we need to constantly work on enhancing our knowledge and skills and keep learning as a continuous process so as to continue to build an environment of trustworthiness in the organization.
Behavior: Behavior is almost always simply defined as anything that one says and does. Any words or actions from the individual tend to reflect and define that person’s behavior. Many a time people tend to form judgments on one’s attitude by looking at one’s behavior when in fact it is not important for us to know the attitude or the reason behind the behavior than to concentrate on the impact of the behavior. A one’s behavior stays consistent over a period of time, an individual is considered more and more trustworthy.
Reputation and behavior work dynamically together as a combination for trustworthiness. A one’s reputation grows, people expect consistency in behavior and as the consistency increases, people respect the reputation more, thus generating a positive atmosphere for trust!
Today, in organizations across the world where individuals work in virtual teams and sometimes do not even meet each other for a long time, trust and trustworthiness plays a very critical and important role to keep the teams emotional bonded and consistently productive with least interpersonal conflicts and problems. One needs to know the image one is projecting to others whilst also ensuring that their behavior is consistent with that reputation.
Maintain your reputation! Project consistent behavior! Be trustworthy…
You have the power!
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Revathi Turaga is an International Trainer and Inspirational Speaker. She can be reached at http://www.revathionline.com
Grow from FAILURE!
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed!’
The above statement of Michael Jordan reflects beautifully the attitude of ‘never give up’! Time and again we have heard that it is not how one falls, but how one gets up again that counts towards one’s success. Failure is often viewed as the opposite of success, and refers to the state or condition of not meeting the desired outcome. However, I look at FAILURE as “Free Again to Innovate and Learn Until Reaching Excellence”! Here’s how…
One of the first stories I remember hearing about a never give up attitude is that of a king, who, after his kingdom was conquered by his enemies, absolutely exhausted and de-motivated, went into hiding in a forest wherein he saw a tiny spider attempting to climb out of a crevice. The crevice was too steep and too wide for the spider and the moment it made two steps forward, it just slipped one step backwards. It looked like it could never reach the top. However, the king noticed that the spider didn’t give up. It kept slipping, but kept keeping on… until it finally reached the top of the crevice on its way to its freedom. Seeing this, the king suddenly felt free too! Motivated, he gathered his few troops and, marched against his enemies and saved his kingdom. Sometimes, when one fails, one needs to realize that they are free from the earlier attempts, to start again, all fresh and anew!
We have all heard the wonderful adage “try try again till you succeed!” However, what we do not realize in history is that every scientist who has tried again and again has not tried the same way again and again. For example, let us say you are walking on a road and there is a big rock in the way that blocks your path. You can’t pass. Now, the next time you walk, would you walk the exact same path again? Or would you walk around the rock or find a way to move it or change the path itself? We would obviously do one of the latter. Hence, when one fails, it is not that one has to simply try again, however one has to analyze what happened and creatively try another method. One needs to learn and innovate!
Martin Luther King defined excellence as ““If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” Excellence can be attained only through continuous learning after learning through failure after failure. Though everyone fears failure, those in search of excellence embrace their mistakes and learn from them for further growth an implementation. An entrepreneur may in fact regard failure as a very positive experience: as a prerequisite to success, a chanced discovery, a profound teacher, a future value-adder, a provider of new direction, an enhanced motivator, a path to achievement and even as a relieving liberator towards excellence.
We’ve been taught from an early age that failure is a bad thing. When we do poorly on tests, we receive a failing grade. When a business goes bankrupt or dies, it is said to fail. We were constantly reminded every day that failure is something negative. But today, most entrepreneurs and scientists and business leaders are starting to understand the positives of failure! History is adept of thoughts from various scientists such as Thomas Watson who said “If you want to succeed, double your failure rate” and Edison who said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.
In today’s scenario, failure is such a common occurrence it should come to be expected. So, ensure that you develop thicker skin if failures and setbacks seem to bother you. It is very important you learn from every failure and that the same failure isn’t repeated or experienced twice as this could lead to unnecessary waste of time and money and even possibly fatal mistakes. Thus, choosing to look at FAILURE as “Free Again to Innovate and Learn Until Reaching Excellence” means that even though each idea we try may not work, it still would help to bring us that much closer to an idea that does. To that end, experiencing failure becomes a very essential and necessary step in arriving at success.
Remember, when you fail next, choose to innovate!
You have the power!
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Published in ‘The Hans India’ newspaper on 15th Sept 2011
Conflict Resolution Styles
It is said that conflicts can be either destructive or they can be constructive. The difference lies in how they are resolved! Every individual has their own preferred style of resolving conflicts. Also, different situations and scenarios have their own apt conflict resolution styles. We shall understand a few over here now.
To understand the conflict resolution styles, let us first know what conflicts are and how they are formed. A conflict is a deliberate and conscious intent to oppose another. Conflicts get created when two or more individuals oppose one another in a personal or professional or social situation. This happens when the individuals need to work together but may have different goals. This also happens when the both individuals want the same thing that is scarcely available. Every individual always aspires to maximize his/her gain in any situation, sometimes even without due consideration at the expense of another person involved in the same situation. This invariably leads to a struggle to wanting self to win and keeping others from achieving their win, thus resulting in a conflict.
When a conflict is resolved properly using the appropriate style required at that time, it provides a clarification and problem solving quality that increases involvement and enhances growth and strengthens relationships! Research establishes five popular conflict resolution techniques:
1. Withdrawal – when one retreats from a conflicting situation or a problem
This happens when an individual shows less value and importance for both their goal as well as their relationship with the other individual. The individual is then said to be behaving much like a turtle that withdraws into its shell to avoid any conflict. Sometimes when the conflict is not relevant to self or when the other individual is purposefully instigating an individual, it is better to behave like a turtle and avoid the conflict altogether.
2. Smoothing – when one tries to focus more on common areas of agreement or no conflict and attempts to avoid getting into areas of disagreement or conflict
This happens when an individual gives a lot more value to the relationship at hand than to one’s own goals at that time. The individual is then said to be behaving much like a teddy bear which would want to be accepted and liked by other people and do not like to damage relationships. This is the route to take up to avoid conflicts with close ones and live a life of harmony
3. Compromising –when one searches for a solution that appears to give a certain level of satisfaction to both parties, while ignoring certain other criteria of the conflict
This happens when an individual gives moderate importance to both goals and relationships. The individual is then said to behave as a fox which usually tend to give up part of their own goals in order to persuade others in a conflict to give up part of theirs. In these situations, both sides gain a middle ground between two extreme positions. Situations when a balance needs to be worked out for the common good a compromise is a good solution.
4. Forcing – when one attempts to push or force one’s view or stand of the situation onto the other thus creating a sense of winning while the other loses in the process
This happens when an individual gives a lot of importance to their goals and very little importance to their relationships. The individual is then said to be behaving as a shark that would try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their solutions to the conflict. When the goal is very important and critical for oneself, it is at times, vital to fight for one’s rights.
5. Confrontation – when one directly addresses the issue at hand by talking with the other party and discussing amicably to create a mutually agreeable and acceptable solution
This happens when one highly values both their goals as well as their relationships. The individual is then said to behave as an owl that views conflicts as problems to be resolved and seeks out a solution that helps both people involved in the conflict. When it is important to seek out solutions that satisfy everyone, it is important to work out a conflict by confrontation.
The above categorization is based on how much one values one’s goals and priorities vs. how much one values one’s relationships and associations. Just as each individual has their own preferred style, also each style is effective in certain situations.
Be aware of one’s and other’s conflict resolution styles! Resolve your conflicts…
You have the power!
Published in The Hans India on 18th Aug 2011
Performance Coaching – The STAR Way
From the era of Ramayana and the Mahabharata in the times of Rama, Krishna, and Drone, performance coaching is an age old tradition in India. In today’s modern world of Shiba Maggon and Gary Kistern still follows the very same principles of the yester years coaching.
In the corporate scenario today, coaching works wonders in helping individual performers and teams achieve excellent results by introspecting within and working together. This not only contributes to the entire persona of the individual, but also and helps organizations move towards sustainable growth.
Coaching as a practice is not about telling one what to do. It is more about understanding the situation by asking questions and aiding the individual to arrive at the right solutions.
Corporate executive coaching requires working with an individual on a particular goal or result area in their professional development. It is usually a creative and thought provoking process by which the coach enables the coachee to think and maximize his/her potential and performance in the goal or result area under consideration. The various goal of coaching can be in areas of career management, performance enhancement, managing personal, professional and organizational changes, enhancing problem solving and creativity, effective conflict resolution, amongst many others.
A trained professional uses many techniques and methods of coaching, one of them also being the STAR model i.e. (a) Situation (b) Task (c) Action and (d) Result model.
The STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) format, an avid interviewer’s powerful tool can also be used as a coaching technique that can be used by executive coaches to help individual and teams enhance performance and productivity in specific areas or situations.
The STAR model can be used when the coach needs to help the coachee to re-visit an experience, learn from the same, and implement in the future.
For example, when there are conflicts occurring in a team, or certain organizational changes like mergers etc, this model works effectively. This is construed by making the coach and the coachee/team to sit together, explore the various facets and avenues of the existing situation through a series of questions, thus gather all the relevant information and there after arrive at a most applicable and sustainable possible solution.
• Situation: Take an example of a situation that can either work as a positive situation or a challenge. Explain and elaborate the situation with all specific details of all the tasks and individuals involved in the situation. Example: the recent disagreement of the employee and their supervisor over a client presentation.
• Task: The various tasks that led to this situation and can lead away from the situation are explored. By asking the appropriate questions such as: Why has this situation occurred in the first place? What has the individual done so as to be in this circumstance? What learning can we take away from the present situation, for the future? What can be done to arrive at a solution in this present scenario? Various options of possible further steps are enlisted.
• Action: What did you do? The earlier actions are re-visited, examined, and evaluated. The coach helps the coachee to identify the aspects in self that created the current situation, understand why it happened, and analyze on what action can be taken to (a) overcome the challenge now, as well as (b) learn to avoid repeating similar scenarios in the future. The various alternative action plans are drawn up and evaluated.
• Results: How was the current situation the outcome of the individual’s past actions? How did the past actions work against the objective the individual had? Once the individual is aware and has eliminated these same aspects in the current possibilities of action, further exploration into the possible outcomes or results of the action to be taken are analyzed. What will be the outcome of the current set of actions? What can the individual achieve through these actions to meet his/her objectives. How can the individual implement the learning from this experience?
The important aspect for a coach to remember while using the STAR model is the ability to ask the right questions and wait patiently for the coachee to explore the situation for possible answers. As a coach, one must always note to remember Winston Churchill saying “Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like to be taught.” Helping one learn themselves from their experience is the core of any coaching process.
Follow the STAR process, and coach away!
You have the power!
Published in ‘The Hans India’ newspaper on 4th Aug 2011
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Recent
- Leadership: Deception / Candour
- Trust and Trustworthiness
- Grow from FAILURE!
- A.B.C.D.E. of Interviews
- The 3rd Alternative
- Breaking Paradigms
- be SILENT to LISTEN!
- Conflict Resolution Styles
- The Wrong Handshakes
- Performance Coaching – The STAR Way
- Time Management: ROI of Seconds
- Time Management: Breaking Down Tasks
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